Chapter 11: Chastity vs. Harlots & Prudes

False Attraction Type I
False attraction is Romantic Attraction without Friendship Attraction.  It is the desire to give or to be given sexual privileges (either subtle or overt ones) without any intentions of commitment (Deal Breakers).  So when women wear next to nothing, what exactly are they saying about themselves?  “I give free privileges.  I don’t require any commitment from you.”  That is a harlot.  Harlots can exist in thoughts, words, and actions by degrees.  That means lower degrees of harlotry start with the way we think, and then progress in what we talk about, the way we dress, and the way we act.  A lot of times teen-age girls don’t even know what they are saying when they wear immodest clothing.  I didn't.  Regardless, boys interpret the message loud and clear.  So let’s just call this Harlot Attraction.  It can never last.  It is the stuff that will prevent real Sustainable Attraction from ever being tasted or developed.  It pales in its comparative power.  It’s a cheap here and now quick-fix substitute for the intensely sustainable sexual attraction that is attainable between a man and a woman in a Soulmates Marriage.  So ladies, let's get smart.  If we want our men to be totally and sustainably beautiful, hot, and attractive, we can't make creeps out of them by giving them freebies.  It is harlot behaviors that are making fat slugs out of the majority of them (KingNoah).  So get dressed and stay dressed. 

False Attraction Type II
There’s another kind of false attraction in marriage.  That is Friendship Attraction without Romantic Attraction.  It is the desire to keep all of our other marriage commitments but withhold or refuse to enjoy the sexual privileges.  I think the main reason for refusing to enjoy the privileges is a type of Prude mentality--thoughts, words, and actions that inhibit Attraction.  Us women get boxed into this place because we do not want to be a harlot.  The world portrays what should be completely sacred and private between a man and a woman on the big screen in full blown color and high def audio.  So OFFENSIVE to us who have covenanted our virtue and chastity to God and our spouse.  Sexual relations are of God, given to bind a married man and woman in Sustainable Attraction together (see The Family: A Proclamation to the World).  They are pure and holy, intense and private.  Showing it all on the big or little screen is what perverts it to become harlotry.  It should be between husband and wife, not everyone and their dog. 

When we women happen to get a glimpse of the harlot on the screen or in music, we see that she has similar desires, thoughts, words, and actions that we may have towards our spouse.  Because we LOATHE the harlot, we may get confused and loathe these desires and feelings in ourselves.  What a major offensive attack of the adversary on a Soulmates Marriage!!!  So we repress that part of us as much as is possible, right?  But the truth of the matter is, we can’t repress it.  It has to flow and flow in the right direction and to the right person.  It is God-given and beautiful and reserved for our Soulmate Husband.  The only way we can continue to repress it is by taking up substitute addictive behaviors like overeating, overspending, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or being a goody-two-shoes-in-everyone-else’s-business-over-the-top-do-gooder-thinking-we-have-to-rescue-everyone-else's-kids-bossing-everyone-around-you-know-what-I-mean-ladies-because-we-all-have-been-there (Martha).  Instead of turning to these Attraction Inhibitors, we must separate Chastity from the Harlot.  That’s not her.  We must also separate Chastity from the Prude.  That’s not her either.

Men have been affected by this attack as well.  Many men, especially Christian men, don’t want to admit that they have sexual desires because of the scores of bad creepy Harlot Attraction-Chasing role models on the screen, at work, in their high school growing up, and now all over the internet.  These "role models" ruin the desire to give appropriate expression to sexual attraction within the bonds of marriage.  They ruin it!  They make it seem like a man's sexuality is all selfish, natural man, lascivious, base, carnal, devilish, and one-sided.  They believe women don't really want a romantic sexual relationship and only participate in it to fulfill the man's needs.  That's false.  Many men try to inhibit their sexual desire by engaging in their own Prude thoughts, words, and activities.  

Unless we weed the Prude and Harlot mentalities out, refuse to watch, refuse to listen, refuse to look, get it out of us!, repent of what has already gotten into us, study what the real thing is, study Christ, and REPLACE IT WITH CHASTITY, Attraction to our spouse can never be sustainable. Christ is the MAN OF HOLINESS (Moses 7:35) and will train men how to look at this amazingly attractive quality in them in the right way, how to see their wives, how not to let Satan pervert it and them, how not to leave their wives high and dry, and how to be so incredibly beautiful in this sacred relationship with their wives.

Sexual attraction and its expression should not be engaged in privately without our spouse.  That’s not what I mean by private.  Husband and wife are private together.  They are one in that privacy.  The husband doesn’t go off and have his own private encounters with himself and porn images.  The wife doesn’t closet herself up with a steamy romance book and a slice of chocolate truffle cake with ganache filling.  That is not a privilege God has given them to have separately if they want a Soulmates Marriage.  It is actively and frequently to be had between two spouses who are extremely attracted to each other because both are keeping the Soulmates Marriage rules.  Reciprocity Attraction.  Chastity.  Intense and private sexuality within marriage.  

Listen:  "For Your Eyes Only" by Sheena Easton

If either partner does not want this kind of relationship with his/her spouse, they do not have a Soulmates Marriage yet.  Something's getting in the way of it.  Both need to be actively engaged in Marriage Counseling to learn how they can better keep the rules in order to be worthy of the Holy Spirit of Promise—that Sustainable Attraction--which makes this kind of relationship desirable.

A woman stuck in Prude Attraction Inhibitors can cause the man to deviate to Harlot Attraction (and vice versa).  The Prude Attraction Inhibitors leave him high and dry.  He’s married.  Let's assume he’s obeying the Soulmates rules with no Deal Breakers.  He’s attracted to his wife.  His wife may indeed be attracted to him but the Prude Attraction Inhibitors are fooling her and stifling her willingness to act upon it.  If she can’t separate the true and beautiful sexuality of her husband from these Harlot Attraction-Chasing men, she will be in need of re-education, retraining, and repentance.  This means it is very possible that what can trigger a woman to turn to Prude Attraction Inhibitors in the first place may not be her husband.  It may very well be the full blown color, hi def movies and music that portray her sexuality as a Harlot.  Even so, when a man encounters coldness from his wife, he will interpret it as a personal rejection.  He won't understand what's going on.  Not good.  When a man is rejected, he will be severely tempted to reject her back.  He may even be fooled into thinking his own sexuality has no beautiful appropriate place.  That means he will be severely tempted to find an inappropriate way to meet his needs or choose his own set of Prude Attraction Inhibitors. Yet it is true, because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that two wrongs don't make anything right.  Always go to your Savior when things aren't going your way.  Be allegiant to him in order to resolve the conflict.

When a man allows himself to be sucked into Harlot Attraction, he sides with Chastity's mortal enemy.  This enemy EXPLOITS the purity of her sexuality.  She hates that enemy (Moses 4:20-21)!   A wife bound to Chasity (not Prude Attraction Inhibitors) will hate her spouse if he joins it.  And if she doesn’t know he’s doing it, she will sense it anyway because the Holy Spirit of Promise will incrementally decrease while enmity towards him will incrementally increase over time and his non-repentance.  He will also treat her like a harlot. That is an unavoidable cause and effect relationship.  The husband may not sense this decrease because Harlot Attraction masks it in the beginning (2 Nephi 28:21-22). 

...yea, and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever. ~ 2 Nephi 26:22.  

When Attraction fails over an extended period of time in a marriage, the usual case is that both of these inappropriate mentalities are happening at the same time between husband and wife, harlots, and prudes.  All together they form a black hole-like relationship.  If the wife turns to Prude Attraction Inhibitors while morphing into the harlot once a month to keep her husband "happy," this will only prolong the inappropriate relationship.  It is an unending feedback loop that will slowly but surely separate them from being able to obtain Sustainable Attraction together.  The relationship will end in sorrow unless at least one turns to Christ, finds out the real deal and repents.  Who’s going to repent first?  When the one repents and forgives, it should unlock the other one to repent and forgive.  This takes time to unravel because both the Prude and the Harlot Attraction devices are addictive.  Addiction is Satan’s signature work.  When a Soulmates husband and wife understand the rules of the game, how they are broken, and exactly how they are both being tempted to break them, they will both turn to fight their adversary instead of each other. 

Listen:  "Hymn for the Missing" by Red