Chapter 37: Charity & Marriage

In Chapter 10 we likened the Soulmates Journey to climbing a mountain.   In the figure below, I use a triangle to represent said mountain.  The journey up the mountain is represented by the slope on either side from the base to the tip (Growth/Progression).  Imagine the husband’s position is at the right side of the base of this triangle.  His relationship with God is represented by the line-slope from that side of the base to the tip.  The wife’s position is at the left side of the base of the triangle.  Her relationship with God is represented by the line-slope from that side of the base to the tip.  Each spouse has the agency to progress as high as desired on this mountain.  Each progresses in their Values of their chosen Religion, their Love Language Proficiency, and in their Intensity of Attraction.  This is their progression in Charity.

“But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.” ~Moroni 7:47

Values of our Chosen Religion
In Chapter 21 we talked about Religion and Values.  The Religion we choose is composed of Values.  Values are morals, truth statements, credos, laws, rules of the game, commandments that enable us to fulfill the measure of our creation.  Some Values are closer to God’s Values.  Some are further away.  The closer a Value is to God’s, the greater the sacrifice it is to keep it.  This is true because we naturally want to do things the easy way first.  And that gives us a tendency towards Survival of the Fittest Strategies, which is the opposite of God’s Values (Mark 8:35).  It is also true that the society we live in usually lives by lower Values and in order to be accepted by it, we need to live that way also.  If we don’t we become social outcasts.  Thus the more a society’s Values deviate from God’s, the more intense the sacrifice we are required to make in order to draw closer to him (John 15:18-21).

“Behold, the great day of the Lord is at hand; and who can abide the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appeareth? For he is like a refiner’s fire, and like fuller’s soap; and he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness. Let us, therefore, as a church and a people, and as Latter-day Saints, offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness;” ~D&C 128:24

Listen:  “Guilty” by Newsboys

It is also true that even though we may believe in a certain Value, our commitment level to it can vary widely (see blog post "Commitment").  Some may strive to keep it with exactness.  Others may be more laid back in their commitment approach, not minding to let some things slide.  Most of us have commitment levels in between these two extremes.  Thus even though we may belong to the same church as our spouse, our levels of commitment to its Values may become different enough over time to affect our Attraction to each other.

“...this people draw near unto me with their mouth, and with their lips do honor me, but have removed their hearts far from me, and their fear towards me is taught by the precepts of men—" ~2 Nephi 27:25

“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” ~1 Samuel 16:7