Chapter 23: The Godhead

The head of the Marriage Counselor Team of a Soulmates Marriage is God.  I'm not saying God is the head of every marriage.  I'm saying he is the head of all Soulmates Marriages. 

As we know, there are three members of the Godhead:  God the Father (Heavenly Father), his Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost (see Figure 1 below).  Because they are one in purpose, I will refer to these three individuals as God hereafter unless individually distinguished.  In this chapter I will talk about them individually in order to identify the different positions they play.  There is a reason they are separate. Each has a unique role to play in order to accomplish a single purpose.

“And thus will the Father bear record of me, and the Holy Ghost will bear record unto him of the Father and me; for the Father, and I, and the Holy Ghost are one.” ~3 Nephi 11:36

The Holy Ghost
The Holy Ghost bears witness of truth.  This is communicated to our hearts (see blog post True To My Heart).  We sense what is true and what is false because of this Spirit. Because of the gift of the Holy Ghost we have this ability.

“For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.” Moroni 7:15
 
We can hone it as we pay attention to it and heed it.  We can numb ourselves to it by ignoring it and going against it.  The Holy Ghost will help us know which Counselors to choose as members of our Marriage Counselor Team and which ones to ignore.  He will help us choose which pathways we should take and which ones we should avoid.  We choose how close we want to come to God by choosing the Intensity level of the Holy Ghost with which we want live.  How much guidance and correction do we really want?

“And the Holy Ghost beareth record of the Father and me; and the Father giveth the Holy Ghost unto the children of men, because of me.” 3 Nephi 28:11

The Holy Ghost also helps us apply God's more general rules to our specific situation.  For example, in the New Testament we read about Jesus instructing us that we need to lose our life to gain it (Luke 9:24).  That's a Value.  The Holy Ghost will help us know how to apply it in our marriage.  How can we best "deny ourselves" in our relationship with our spouse?  Where are we trying to put ourselves first?  Why are we doing that?  What is it that we fear?  How can we resolve that fear? 

The Holy Ghost explains how two seemingly opposite laws are indeed compatible.  For example, how can we let our light so shine AND not do our alms before men to be seen of them (Matt 5:14-16  & Matt 6:1-8)?  By studying the Gospel of Jesus Christ and listening to the Holy Ghost, we learn how two seemingly contradictory laws are very compatible.

“Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do....For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do.” ~2 Nephi 32:2,5

The Holy Ghost brings examples of a general rule to our minds.  For example, when we read about Jesus’ rules to turn the other cheek, do good to them that hate us, and pray for them who despitefully use us and persecute us (Matthew 5:39-48), the Holy Ghost can bring to mind certain stories in which individuals actually applied this rule (Stoning of Stephen, Anti-Nephi-Lehies, Princess Bride “As you wish”).  In reading these stories we get an idea of how to implement it.  We understand better how difficult it is to sacrifice in this way.  We admire those who offered themselves in love.  We also sometimes see the final result when good triumphs over evil.  My favorite kind of ending is when the very people who hate, despitefully use, and persecute repent, change their colors, and start sacrificing for others as was done for them.  This happened in the following story about the Anti-Nephi-Lehies.
 
“Now when the Lamanites saw that their brethren would not flee from the sword, neither would they turn aside to the right hand or to the left, but that they would lie down and perish, and praised God even in the very act of perishing under the sword—Now when the Lamanites saw this they did forbear from slaying them; and there were many whose hearts had swollen in them for those of their brethren who had fallen under the sword, for they repented of the things which they had done.  And it came to pass that they threw down their weapons of war, and they would not take them again, for they were stung for the murders which they had committed; and they came down even as their brethren, relying upon the mercies of those whose arms were lifted to slay them.” ~Alma 24:23-25

The guidance of the Holy Ghost has often been described as a still small voice.

“And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:12

“Yea, thus saith the still small voice, which whispereth through and pierceth all things, and often times it maketh my bones to quake while it maketh manifest...” ~D&C 85:6

“Ye are swift to do iniquity but slow to remember the Lord your God. Ye have seen an angel, and he spake unto you; yea, ye have heard his voice from time to time; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were past feeling, that ye could not feel his words; wherefore, he has spoken unto you like unto the voice of thunder, which did cause the earth to shake as if it were to divide asunder.” ~1 Nephi 17:45

Here are some examples of descriptions of what the Holy Ghost feels like:  

D&C 8:2-5

D&C 9:7-9

3 Nephi 19:13

Romans 14:17

Listen:  "This Is the Christ" written by James E. Faust
"With saints of old, I too can testify with joyful cry, 'This is the Christ!'"

Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ is truth (D&C 84:45).  He set the example of how to obtain Sustainable results at the Intensity level we each are satisfied.  Even though he didn’t say a lot about marriage specifically, he said a lot about how to establish Sustainable relationships.  Since the Holy Ghost testifies of truth, he testifies of Jesus Christ.  He also teaches us how we can apply what our Savior has said to marriage.  

The Lord also stands as the metaphoric Bridegroom for his Church (3 Nephi 22).  We are all metaphoric Virgins in relation to him when we take upon us his name and his mission.  We agree to play a position on his team.  We devote ourselves to him in Chastity, meaning we don’t defect to Conflicting Causes when the going gets tough.   We look unto him in every thought, doubting not, fearing not (D&C 6:36) which is a form of Chastity.  Faithfulness is Chastity.  Defecting to selfish ways when we know better is a Deal Breaker in our relationship with him.  It's something we need to repent of. The metaphoric "marriage" is our baptism into his Church.  This must be as official as a wedding (Matthew 22:1-14).  The Holy Ghost will help us liken our relationship with him, as the scriptures describe it, to our relationship with our spouse as Elder Holland did in Chapter 14: Marriage & the Sacrament.

Heavenly Father
The Father, like the Son, is truth.  We know that he stands in the role of Justice, while the Son stands in the role of Mercy.  The rules of a Soulmates Marriage are Justice.  They are the way that it is.  They are God's rules in respect to this relationship.  If we don’t follow them, we won’t be able to obtain a Soulmates Marriage.  That's the bottom line.  How can we argue with that?  Thus the Father’s rules must be accepted and implemented in order to obtain sustainable results.  He challenges us.  He expects us.  He holds the line.  It is part of his covenant to us because the line is: our needs being met AND our spouse's needs being met in Sustainability. He wants us to develop sustainable compatible relationships.  There are rules to obtaining this kind of relationship. They have to be followed. But in this life we're working out all the specifics - with whom we're going to develop that relationship and to what level we'll climb. Our Savior gives us this time and flexibility to make mistakes and try again. He gives us the time to develop the relationship. 

It is wrong to take that in vain by not taking the institution of marriage seriously and divorcing at the first sign of trouble or temptation. But it is also wrong to not accept his Mercy when he guides us to divorce after much time and effort are given to the relationship with our spouse.

The Father is not a force to mess with.  Seriously.  If we don’t incorporate his rules into our daily lives, given our specific desired level of Sustainable Attraction and plenty of the Son's Mercy--time, space, and assistance, we will not obtain that specific desire level of Sustainable Attraction in the end.  Because we have that specific desire, we have to learn over time to follow the rules in order to obtain it.  If we accept the Father's Soulmates Marriage rules and wisely use the time the Savior has given us we will obtain the blessings of this relationship.

The Son does not oppose the Father.  He is like the servant of the Lord of the vineyard in Jacob 5.  In this parable, the servant petitions the Father to give us all Mercy--more time, space, and assistance to get it right.  He works diligently with us, the Father, the Holy Ghost, and our Marriage Counselor Team to help us get it right.

The Father:  “And he said unto the servant: Look hither and behold the last. Behold, this have I planted in a good spot of ground; and I have nourished it this long time, and only a part of the tree hath brought forth tame fruit, and the other part of the tree hath brought forth wild fruit; behold, I have nourished this tree like unto the others.  And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard said unto the servant: Pluck off the branches that have not brought forth good fruit, and cast them into the fire."

The Son:    But behold, the servant said unto him: Let us prune it, and dig about it, and nourish it a little longer, that perhaps it may bring forth good fruit unto thee, that thou canst lay it up against the season."

The Father & the Son:  And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard and the servant of the Lord of the vineyard did nourish all the fruit of the vineyard.” ~Jacob 5:25-28

"Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;" D&C 19:15-17 

The Son (who is symbolized by the servant in the Jacob 5 parable) knows about mistakes and is okay with them.  He knows that most of the time we just need time to understand the bigger picture.  He knows about Temptation and how hard it is to withstand it.  He knows about Adversity—that we are all living in a Fallen state where other people’s mistakes hurt us and cause us to make mistakes.  He’s aware of the bumper car situation.  His whole mission is to decrease the impact Adversity and Temptation have on us to the level we can bear. He is our Forcefield.  His goal is not to take Adversity completely away because if he did, he would take away the challenge the Father is giving us.  Experiencing some of the effects of broken laws motivates us to seek to better understand the rules of the game.  Through adverse experiences, we come to know for ourselves how valuable the Father's Values are.  The Lord's task together with the Holy Ghost and the rest of the Marriage Counselor Team, then, in regards to our Soulmates Marriage is to assist us with identifying the rules, learning them line upon line, and motivating us to strive continuously to keep them.

Watch:  The Mediator

The rules of the Godhead and the role of each member as well as our relationship with them have been recorded in the scriptures by prophets, who are Bridegrooms.  Modern-day prophets continue to teach them.  Modern-day Wise Virgins continue to work with the Holy Ghost to explain them and to confirm them.  All of these players are members of the Soulmates Marriage Counselor Team.  They teach and explain in Mercy the specific rules of the Soulmates game.  Understanding the individual roles of each member of the Godhead helps us better understand who God is as well as who we are.  When this understanding increases, we draw closer to him--we improve our Rate of Progression.  It's important that husband and wife seek out this greater understanding together so that together they can overcome the Adversity and Temptations each has been given and improve their Rates of Progression in compatibility.