Chapter 33: God's Love Language

The spouses of a Soulmates Marriage not only need to learn to speak each other’s Love Language but also God’s.  In order to develop a relationship with anyone we need to learn how to speak their language.  God is no exception.  God’s Love Language is traditionally called his commandments.  His commandments are his Values.  For a Soulmates Marriage, they are the rules of the game that we have been talking about.  If we want a Soulmates Marriage, we need to be willing to put into action God's Values in all that we think, say, and do.  We need to be willing to edit our personal code to be in alignment with his.  This is a work in progress.  It will happen incrementally as we continuously avoid Deal Breakers and instead choose Chastity, faith in God, and repentance.

"For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous." ~1 John 5:3

Language Proficiency
How well we speak God’s Love Language directly influences how well we develop the skill to speak and interpret our spouse’s language and anyone else's (Article of Faith 7).  When both spouses strive to obey the commandments of God in all that they think, say, and do they become very proficient in each other’s languages.

"Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." ~Matthew 22:36-40

In order to obtain a Soulmates Marriage, both spouses need to meet in the middle.  The middle is God’s Love Language.  That general language IS to speak our spouse’s Love Language first and allow the other to speak ours voluntarily.  I've used the words Paradoxical Living, Paradoxical Strategies, and Paradoxical Sacrifice to name this Love Language.  Speaking God's Love Language takes faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ because inevitably there are times when we have to sacrifice more for our spouse while he is presently unable or unwilling to do the same for us.

The spouse that maintains his faith in Christ by first continuously and voluntarily speaking his spouse’s Love Language instead of expecting or forcing her to speak his first, becomes highly proficient in the language of God’s Love.  Yet another name for this is Charity (1 Corinthians 13).  The spouse with a high level of Charity is intensely attractive.  The impact of his thoughts, words, and actions is incredible.  Just being around someone like this is a total privilege.  High Proficiency in Charity is equivalent to climbing high up into the mountain.  It is also equivalent to a high Rate of Progression.  Our Religion, whatever it is, teaches us higher or lower levels of Charity.  In order to ascend to the higher heights of Charity, we need to choose the best people to make up our Marriage Counselor Team.  These people need to have higher levels of Charity.  That way they can teach us the Values of how to obtain it ourselves.  The level of Charity we obtain is completely up to us.  We are the ones who decide how proficient we want to become by who we choose to listen to--which Religion, Counselors, and Values we choose.  Some Religions may have the capacity to teach us lower levels of God's love.  That is good.  Some may be better than others just as there is one star that is brighter than another (Abraham 3:2,16).  Other Religions have the capacity to teach us the heights of Charity.  That is best because Charity never fails.  It is Sustainable.  And of course it is not easy to take the higher road but with God it is obtainable.

"And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." ~1 Corinthians 13:13

"Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—" ~Moroni 7:46

"A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation." ~Joseph Smith, Jr

“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” ~Luke 1:37

Mercy:  Space
We don’t all need or desire to sacrifice at the most intense levels to develop Charity.  We need to sacrifice according to the measure of our creation--no more and no less.  When we do this, we develop the highest level of Charity.  It is our desired level that defines our name and the impact of our sacrifice. We need both lighthouses and lights on the shore (see blog post Keep the Lower Lights Burning).  The key is to find a spouse who desires to sacrifice at a similar level as we do.  That is the ultimate joy for each marriage.  Some people are over-powered by love that is too intense.  They are more laid back and easy going.  A person who sacrifices too intensely for them and requires the same in return in order to achieve Self-Actualization only makes them feel uncomfortable.  It puts them in a type of bondage.  Some people feel unsatisfied by the more easy-going kind of love.  They are more intense and focused.  A person who doesn't sacrifice as intensely for them and doesn't require the same in return only makes them feel like life is the most boring thing ever.  That is another type of bondage.  We need both kinds of people and all the kinds of people in between those two extremes.  This is what creates a space for all of us.  Yet there are boundaries to this space.  There are certain basic codes, rules, laws, Values that can’t be left undone.  Everyone has to obey these general laws in order to obtain a Soulmates Marriage.  Just like my tour group and I weren’t allowed to enter the Temple Mount in Jerusalem unless we were dressed properly, we will not be able to obtain any level of a Soulmates Marriage if we do not obey these basic rules.

"Then saith he to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were bidden were not worthy. Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the marriage. So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wedding was furnished with guests. And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen." ~Matthew 22:8-14

Mercy:  Time
Whatever the Charity or Love Language Proficiency level we would like to obtain, we are all given time to develop it.  We don’t have to be perfect in speaking God’s Love Language or our spouse's right now but we do need to be actively developing those skills within our own sphere.  This is done through steadfast faith in Christ and ASAP-repentance when we get off track.  Our sphere is the intensity of our personal Love Language, which should be equivalent to the intensity of our spouse's Love Language.  It is the level of Charity we both desire to obtain.