Chapter 45: Dancing Through Adversity

Considering how we can get imbalanced is the first step in applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ to our marriage.  We can become imbalanced as a result of too much or too little Adversity.  Too much Adversity forces us to expend too much Energy for how little Peace we’re receiving.  When that happens we feel more Demanding about our needs because we’re hungry for Peace and stressed out with all of our obligations.  Instead of feeling Joy, we feel Fear.  Because the Adversity is overwhelming, we can't seem to hold onto our Faith in our spouse or in the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  We're tempted to force the Peace we need from our spouse.  We doubt that God will really help us through this one.



So returning to our metaphor, “marriage is a dance,” if we continue dancing with our spouse in this way, we’re dancing in Fear instead of Faith.

"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." ~D&C 6:36

Too little Adversity leaves us feeling stagnant and unchallenged.  We feel Apathetic about the things that should mean the most to us because we’re stuffed full and bored to tears with life and our marriage.  Instead of feeling the exhilaration of Joy that comes from keeping commitments, we feel Depression.  Because there is so little being required of us in any of our relationships for how much we have to offer, we're tempted to say with Buzz Lightyear, "Clearly I will go sailing no more."



If we're not challenged enough in the dance--if we're asked to do the deacon shuffle (see video below) when we have taken years of Ballroom dancing--we will lose motivation to dance at all.



So becoming aware of whether we are experiencing too much or too little Adversity in our lives and in our marriage helps us to start unwinding some of the knots we may have gotten into.  Further progress can be achieved by knowing where that Adversity or lack of it comes from.  I have noticed the following sources: 

• Outside Adversity
• Self-inflicted Adversity
• Our Spouse’s Imbalance 

I'll discuss these in the next few chapters.