Chapter 42: The Politics of Dancing

It has been said that marriage is like a dance.  It is a balancing act as both partners learn to gracefully move and work together to accomplish their life mission.  In order to achieve that balance, rules, laws, Values have to be obeyed.  There’s no getting around them.  This is the “politics of dancing.”

Listen:  “The Politics of Dancing” by The Re-Flex

A man and a woman usually choose to marry each other because they find that they are well-matched in the dance.  They have similar Values, goals, interests, and passions.  One’s strengths compliment the others’ weakness and vice versa.  This natural synchronicity creates that initial Attraction each feels towards the other.  This is the first dance of many more to come that generates the power of the Forcefield that protects them and their children from overwhelming Adversity.  As one person grows in Values, the other follows his dance steps.  Balance in the dance is maintained, their Attraction for one another grows, and their Forcefield is strengthened.

"Whatever you do, I'll do it too!  Show me everything, tell me how." ~Strangers Like Me from the Disney movie Tarzan, sung by Phil Collins

It is not necessary for us to be able to “dance” as closely in balance with other people as we do with our spouse.  In fact, we may have a hard time getting along with some because they have different Values than we do.  Our relationships with our children, extended family members, coworkers, neighbors, and members of our community have the potential to be imbalanced and thus create Adversity for us to deal with.  Children naturally have lower level Values when they are young.  Part of the parents’ mission is to empathize with their children's level of understanding.  Parents incrementally teach them higher Values so that someday they will be able to dance in balance with their own spouse and contribute to the strength of the Forcefield in their own marriages and families.  

Forcefield = Storehouse

“Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” ~Malachi 3:10

As Christians, we are commanded to love and forgive all men.  We love them by remaining balanced in the face of their imbalanced actions towards us.  They may seem imbalanced to us but because of their lack of knowledge and understanding they are balanced for them.  So we don’t respond in kind.  Against those who trip us up on the dance floor, we do not try to trip them up in return (3 Nephi 6:13).  We agree quickly with our adversary (Matthew 5:25-26).  We turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39).  We go two miles with them when they force us to go one (Matthew 5:41).  We are able to do this without losing our balance because of our balanced relationship with our spouse and our God.  Our Forcefield prevents us from losing it when the going gets tough in all of our other relationships.  Marriage was intended to create that safe place that individuals feel loved, understood, and appreciated despite the lack of that in other relationships.  That being said, if our number one source of Adversity is our marriage, we can see how that would cause each individual much conflict.

"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." ~D&C 64:10 

"Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." ~Matthew 22:36-40

"For behold that all little children are alive in Christ, and also all they that are without the law.  For the power of redemption cometh on all them that have no law; wherefore, he that is not condemned, or he that is under no condemnation, cannot repent..." ~Moroni 8:22-23  

Personal Example
I have read many Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer books in the last 25 years.  My grandma used to read them and she has a number of them still on her shelves in our family’s beach cabin.  She has since passed away, but I still enjoy this legacy she left me.  Both of these authors write about England’s Regency period.  Thus the books are known as Regency Romances.  They are clean, although they do describe in general the lower Society Values that the main characters are up against, which cause them much adversity.  Some examples of these lower level Values are acceptance of extramarital affairs (even planning for them going into a new marriage), LOTS of Prude Attraction Inhibitors especially among the older generation (seems to be the consequential demise of those who chose the extramarital-affair route early on), pride of the rich  towards the poor, envy in the poor towards the rich, seeking for riches as one’s main life mission, poor robbing the rich, rich robbing the poor, etc.  

Despite all that, I like these books because the main characters (male and female) choose to find real love and balance in each other in the face of all this Adversity and Temptation.  In so many words the authors describe them to have higher level Values in a society of lower level Values.  These main characters have many relationships with family members and others that unwittingly (or otherwise) fight to imbalance them.  They are tempted to marry for rank, money, and physical beauty but they choose to marry for love.  They find solace and balance with their chosen spouse which creates a Forcefield that enables them to continue in balance—loving others in their society despite all the Adversity they create.  Usually the authors have them seeking this true love first and in the end they also obtain the riches and rank, which we know, of course, that after the book ends they go on to use to bless the poor and increase the Values of society.

Read:  Arabella by Georgette Heyer

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." ~Matthew 6:33

"But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.  And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted." ~Jacob 2:18-19 

The more husbands and wives can maintain their balance together, the stronger the Forcefield around our communities.  Shielding our communities from debilitating Adversity and Temptation allows individuals the maximum chance for happiness and growth.  In order for marriage to serve the fullness of its purpose for both spouses, for their children, for their community, for their country, and for the world, the balance between husband and wife needs to be maintained.  That is the "Politics of Dancing."