Rule #2 Choosing a Specific Person to be my Soulmate
When I chose to enter into a covenant relationship with another person and
God, I sacrificed all other options. I made a solemn statement. I took this choice very seriously and listened to God during the
entire selection process. I did preliminary research to come up with a solid hypothesis. In testing this out,
the Spirit bore witness that it was indeed
the person with whom God would have me pursue this relationship.
Marrying that person took me on a specific journey--a more serious and risky trial
of my hypothesis. It eliminated other
journeys that I could have possibly taken. That was important to do
because I couldn't test out two or more conflicting hypotheses at the
same time (#Deal Breakers). I had to believe with all my heart that I would obtain a Soulmates Marriage with this specific person. The
journey has not been what I expected. There have been trials and adversity
that are different than what would have been mine if I had chosen a
different person to marry. But if I indeed gave plenty of time to researching and praying and received
confirmation that my choice of spouse was in alignment with God’s will
for me, then I can let go of any bitter “This isn’t fair!” and “The
grass is greener on the other side” thoughts that I may be
entertaining even though the relationship has ended in divorce.
"Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong;" ~D&C 9:7-9
The
key for me was not to entertain thoughts that it was at all possible that my marriage could end in a
divorce during the testing period. In fact I wasn't even conscious that it was just a test. I was thinking, "This is it.
This is the one I'm spending eternity with." I believed that
with all my heart and did everything within my power to work
through the adversity instead of just giving up at the first sign of
trouble--"This one's a dud. Gotta exchange it."
It's like a blind experiment in which information about the test is
withheld in order to eliminate bias. In hindsight I see that God was watching me and my husband. He knew what was going on inside and out.
"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." ~Luke 8:17
"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me." ~Alma 32:27-28
Through the Spirit and the application of scripture, I was taught that I had to create the most unbiased and accurate testing conditions so that we could truly analyze whether or not my hypothesis concerning the specific person I had chosen to marry was true, or would at some point in the future return to being true through my own efforts and the Lord's given my spouse's agency.
"Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye." ~Luke 6:42
The Lord had to work with me to eliminate confounding variables. My own imbalanced thoughts, words, and actions stood as the confounding variables in my experiment. I had to repent of my Deal Breakers--not only in my marriage but also in my relationship with God and others. To make sure the experiment was accurate, I chose to actively engage in Chastity thoughts, words, and actions with my spouse and God. We also spent time together obtaining mutual goals and resolving mutual conflicts. If Sustainable Attraction and a strong Forcefield were the outcome, my specific hypothesis would have been confirmed. But if this wasn't the outcome, my hypothesis would have been proven false. A scary conclusion. And remember, the hypothesis was: It is possible that this specific marriage can become a Soulmates Marriage. I took many years to put this experiment to the test once I started. The Lord had to be very patient with me. Even after I knew the conclusion it took me three more years to realize that I had to get a divorce. I was hoping I could die first.
Listen to this song: "Nothing Compares 2U" by Sinéad O Connor. I sing this with all of my heart when the experiment is working. When it isn't, I can't connect with it.
When I chose to enter into a covenant relationship with another person and
God, I sacrificed all other options. I made a solemn statement. I took this choice very seriously and listened to God during the
entire selection process. I did preliminary research to come up with a solid hypothesis. In testing this out,
the Spirit bore witness that it was indeed
the person with whom God would have me pursue this relationship.
Marrying that person took me on a specific journey--a more serious and risky trial
of my hypothesis. It eliminated other
journeys that I could have possibly taken. That was important to do
because I couldn't test out two or more conflicting hypotheses at the
same time (#Deal Breakers). I had to believe with all my heart that I would obtain a Soulmates Marriage with this specific person. The
journey has not been what I expected. There have been trials and adversity
that are different than what would have been mine if I had chosen a
different person to marry. But if I indeed gave plenty of time to researching and praying and received
confirmation that my choice of spouse was in alignment with God’s will
for me, then I can let go of any bitter “This isn’t fair!” and “The
grass is greener on the other side” thoughts that I may be
entertaining even though the relationship has ended in divorce. "Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong;" ~D&C 9:7-9
Dearest children, God is near you,~"Dearest Children, God Is Near You" Hymn 96, text by Charles L. Walker (Listen)
Watching o'er you day and night,
And delights to own and bless you,
If you strive to do what's right.
He will bless you, He will bless you,
If you put your trust in him.
Dearest children, holy angels
Watch your actions night and day,
And they keep a faithful record
Of the good and bad you say.
Cherish virtue! Cherish virtue!
God will bless the pure in heart
"For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad." ~Luke 8:17
"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me." ~Alma 32:27-28
"Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye." ~Luke 6:42
The Lord had to work with me to eliminate confounding variables. My own imbalanced thoughts, words, and actions stood as the confounding variables in my experiment. I had to repent of my Deal Breakers--not only in my marriage but also in my relationship with God and others. To make sure the experiment was accurate, I chose to actively engage in Chastity thoughts, words, and actions with my spouse and God. We also spent time together obtaining mutual goals and resolving mutual conflicts. If Sustainable Attraction and a strong Forcefield were the outcome, my specific hypothesis would have been confirmed. But if this wasn't the outcome, my hypothesis would have been proven false. A scary conclusion. And remember, the hypothesis was: It is possible that this specific marriage can become a Soulmates Marriage. I took many years to put this experiment to the test once I started. The Lord had to be very patient with me. Even after I knew the conclusion it took me three more years to realize that I had to get a divorce. I was hoping I could die first.
Listen to this song: "Nothing Compares 2U" by Sinéad O Connor. I sing this with all of my heart when the experiment is working. When it isn't, I can't connect with it.
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