Each
of us have a language or a name which represents the meaning inside of us. God knows
that name because he created us. It is the measure of our creation. We have an inherent law that
must be obeyed in order for us to become our most attractive,
desirable, beautiful, functional, fully-contributing-to-the-good self
(think My Fair Lady--see movie clip below). This is our personal code.
It is the key that unlocks us to become the best we can be. Our
personal Love Language is that name. When our spouse speaks our name
through that Love Language, we blossom. We have utter and complete peace .
You need to see this complete movie to see the connection to what I'm talking about, minus Professor Higgins' arrogance.
For those who have seen it, this scene is just a fun reminder to
conceptualize the connection. When someone we respect speaks our
name through that Love Language, we blossom.
Another way to describe this concept is to evaluate what things a flower needs to blossom. It needs soil rich in nutrients, fresh water, sunshine, and air. Not too much or too little. Horticulturists can give us even more specific information on the best conditions in which a flower will grow and bloom at its very best. All plants and trees need the same general ingredients but most of them require some ingredients that are specific to them (shade vs. full sun, temperature, specific nutrients, more or less water, etc.). The same is true of each of us. We all need the same general Love Language to be spoken to us but each of us has a more specific language that has been hard-wired into our spiritual genetic code. It's not just what we need to receive but also what we need to do. It is the privilege of being able to speak our own language to someone else who actually needs this language spoken to him to make him blossom. This is the measure of our creation.
“For
after it hath filled the measure of its creation, it shall be crowned
with glory, even with the presence of God the Father;” ~D&C 88:19
“Wherefore,
it is lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain shall be one
flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation;
And that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his
creation before the world was made.” ~D&C 49:16-17
“And
again, verily I say unto you, the earth abideth the law of a celestial
kingdom, for it filleth the measure of its creation, and transgresseth
not the law—” ~D&C 88:25
Another metaphor we could use as evidence that we all have a specific spiritual language or name, is the specificity of enzymes and substrates. I
took an Anatomy and Physiology class about a year ago. In it I learned
about enzymes and substrates. We have a ton of different
substrates--molecules, ions, and other particles in our bodies floating
through the blood stream, tissues, and cells. They need to combine in
special ways through a chemical reaction to create an end product. They
have different shapes and different chemical properties. Not every
substrate can fit in every enzyme. Each combination of substrates is a
key or a code that fits into a specific kind of enzyme receptor. When
the combination of substrates fit into an enzyme receptor, it is
unlocked and a chemical reaction takes place. It’s like a passageway is
opened. The end product contributes to vital body functions. These
functions keep the body in homeostasis. They keep us physically
balanced. This is an example of the processes that must take place to obtain Sustainable results.
Thus
we see that this general principle of codes, keys, passwords, laws,
Love Languages seems to be a universal law. It is a universal Value or rule. It is a general truth.
We have smaller codes and larger more general codes. If we are an
enzyme receptor, it is most beneficial for our spouse to be the
combination of substrates that unlocks us so that we are capable of
fulfilling the measure of our creation and vice versa. Or we could say that we are a substrate and our spouse is another. The enzyme receptor is our desired destination. When we combine together, we are able to reach that desired destination and fulfill the measure of our creation.
Self-Actualization is a term Psychologists have used to describe the measure of our creation and the need we all have for our own personal Love Language to be spoken. We are all seeing the same meaning. Everyone is just using a different word out of their personal language. Thus Self-Actualization is the name Psychologists use to describe this general truth. The fact that so many people are independently seeing the same thing is evidence that the concept is true. It is like we're all involved in a blind experiment and coming up with very similar evaluations of the things we can't see, hear, touch, or taste with our physical senses. Yet we can sense them with our spiritual senses.
Different Perspectives
Everyone
has an opinion of what will result in Self-Actualization. What does it mean to us personally to be “the best we can be?” That's good because this is where our agency comes in. We need to make that decision for ourselves. We need to engage in Scientific Experiments to find the truth of it out. Some people think
that we reach self-actualization when we become rich with money, property, vacations, etc.
Some people think that we reach it when we become rich with many friends
and family who all love us. Some people think it’s all about becoming
free from any Values at all. This
means we need to choose whose opinion matters the most to us. What do
we believe Self-Actualization is? When do we reach it? This is
usually identified in our chosen Religion and the Values that are
prescribed by it. Remember that we have defined Religion as the group
of people that have influenced us throughout our lives, whose Values we
have adopted as our own. Our Religion, regardless of whether we say we
believe in God or not, is our own paradigm or framework of what Values
we think will end in Self-Actualization. Thus it's the pinnacle of
whatever mountain we choose to climb. Most of us are on a pathway to
obtain this. The problem is that if the Values our chosen Religion
gives are not really ending us in Self-Actualization, we're going
to get there and remain unfulfilled. This is like entering the wrong
code so we cannot unlock the gate. It is like combining the wrong
substrates with an enzyme that was not designed to accommodate them. It
is like using the word toilet to try and communicate the meaning of car to someone else. It just doesn't work.
My
choice is to know what God’s opinion of Self-Actualization is. He
created me. I know if I learn what he created me to be and develop the ability to actually do it, I will
experience the greatest degree of happiness. So that means the man I
need to be married to needs to speak this Love Language to me. He needs
to be the key to the heart God created in me and vice versa. What
other people think we are and should become may be very different from
what we really are—what God has intended us to become.
And remember, obtaining Self-Actualization is not only about needing our Love Language to be spoken to us, but it is also about the need we have to speak it ourselves. When we speak
it, it is about using our skills, abilities, and talents to bless our specific
spouse, children, family members, friends, and others whom we are
assigned or prompted to assist along their journey. Through the
voluntary reciprocal sharing of talents, we obtain Sustainable Joy and
Attraction. This creates that Forcefield, that Love at Home, that
Pocketful of Sunshine that protects us all from overwhelming Adversity
and Temptation. The voluntary reciprocal sharing of talents is just
another way to describe the communication relationship that is possible when both spouses learn and use each other's Love Language. It is another way to describe Chastity--Reciprocity Attraction thoughts, words, and actions.
It's important to note here, that it would be very helpful for two people who are married to really enjoy speaking each other's language. That means that if the sacrifice of speaking our spouse's love language is only a total Joy for us and vice versa, this relationship and the Attraction in it are Sustainable.
To review, God’s Love Language is Charity. He loves us in our own Love Language. He enters the exact code for each of us, enabling us to reach Self-Actualization. It is the best feeling in the world. The more we develop our communication relationship with him, the more we are attracted to him. The more we come to know God, the better we speak his language. How well we speak God's Love Language determines the intensity of our own Love Language. It determines the intensity level of our Attraction and thus our Love Language Proficiency.
“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth:” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8
“But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” ~Moroni 7:47
Those who have a similar Love Language Proficiency are Romantically attracted to each other. Those who differ too widely from each other are not.
Influencing Factors
What factors influence our Love Language Proficiency? One factor is age. Sometimes we just need more time to learn more about God through our own life experience. When we experience Adversity and apply the Values of our Religion, we come to understand why these are the Values that end in Self-Actualization.
Another factor is our personal Destiny, which includes our own personal Attraction to God. How much are we drawn to him? How much do we want to understand him? How close do we want to come to him? The closer we get, the higher the Values we will be required to obey. When we’re at a distance we might be able to get by with living by the letter of the law (Law of Moses). Coming closer requires us to live by the Spirit of the law (Law of Christ). There are greater privileges for coming closer but there are also greater responsibilities. The level of desire that each of us has to draw closer to God determines the amount of time we spend on a daily basis learning about him and his Values and then applying them.
“For of him unto whom much is given much is required; and he who sins against the greater light shall receive the greater condemnation.” ~D&C 82:3
Listen: "What Do I Know of Holy" by Addison Road
So this is why spiritually older people are not usually Romantically attracted to spiritually younger people and vice versa. Yet it is true that even though someone is physically older than us, we can still be Romantically attracted to them if we are at a similar Love Language Proficiency.
Listen: "Get Closer" by Seals and Crofts
“For
after it hath filled the measure of its creation, it shall be crowned
with glory, even with the presence of God the Father;” ~D&C 88:19
